The Transfer
by FlyLittleMoth
Summary: Coda 7x17 "The Born-Again Identity" - Dean has brought Castiel to Sam in the mental hospital. What really happened as Sam and Dean were forced to abandon Cas with Meg at the psych ward.


**The Transfer**

Seeing Sam in the state he was in was unbearable for Dean. The wall inside his head keeping the damage from the torture he endured in Hell was destroyed, leaving him with a diminishing grip on reality. Dean watched as his brother's eyes focussed on an apparition of their worst enemy, Lucifer, visible only to Sam. The short, exhausted breaths puffing out of his mouth as he watched the hallucination run rampant.

Sam was dying.

He was slowly dying and there was nothing Dean could do about it. After exhausting every faith healer he could track down, he'd eventually found his friend Castiel alive - amnesiac, but still Cas - and still there was nothing even Cas could do about it.

Standing next to one another in the doorway to Sam's room at the mental hospital, Dean glanced at his former best friend. Wearing the bloodstained coat Dean had held onto for him for so long, the angel looked haunted and guilt-ridden, staring down at the younger Winchester. _As he should,_ Dean thought bitterly. The angel had caused this, caused all of it, and now was powerless to fix it.

"The hell do you mean you can't?" He grumbled softly, arms folded grudgingly over his chest. The angel couldn't meet his eyes, shame building with every moment spent in their presence.

"I mean there's nothing left to rebuild." He quietly responded, eyes glued to the floor desolately.

"Why not?" Dean intently watched Cas' expression, desperate to believe that there was _something_ they could do.

"Because it crumbled; the pieces got crushed to dust with whatever is happening inside his head right now." The Winchester leaned back, unwilling to simply give up and pressing for more solutions.

"So you're saying there's nothing? That he's goin' to be like this 'til his candle blows out?" If possible, the angel looked more disgusted with himself than before, mouth downturned as he stared morosely at the floor.

"I'm sorry. This isn't a problem I can make disappear. You know that." Glancing sadly at Dean, he turned his eyes towards Sam for a moment before pausing thoughtfully.

Dean's eyes locked on his brother, trying to process the situation. However, he was knocked out of his sullen brooding when the angel took in a stunned breath, turning to him in surprise.

"But I may be able to shift it." _What the hell?_

"Sh-shift...?" Dean watched as the determination crossed Cas' face banishing the sorrow while the angel pushed himself away from the wall.

"Yeah, it would get Sam back on his feet." Dean was lost. What the hell did he mean?

He observed the angel stride confidently over to his brother's beside and take a seat, Sam's terrified eyes trained on him as though he didn't recognise him, or realise what was even going on. Turning back to Dean, Cas gazed at the elder Winchester, a firm resolve building in his eyes. What was he doing?

"It's better this way." He turned back to Sam, the younger man's eyes wide as he weakly tried to shuffle backward. Dean was panicking slightly himself as he watched the exchange.

"I'll be fine." _He'll_ be fine? What the hell?

"Wait, Cas, what are you doing?"

Ignoring him, Cas shifted closer to Sam's head, looking directly into his eyes with renewed purpose. Leaning toward Sam, who watched him like an abused and terrified animal, Cas spoke slowly and quietly.

"Now Sam, this may hurt." Dean saw the look on Sam's face as he flinched at the words - he wasn't seeing Cas, he was seeing Lucifer talking to him. Who knew what the apparition was saying. "And if I can't tell you again... I'm sorry I ever did this to you." With those last few words uttered, Cas reached forward and placed his palm on Sam's forehead.

Dean watched in horror, glancing out the door for any passersby, as Sam convulsed and cried out when the angel touched him; watched as red radiated beneath Castiel's hand, Sam's eyes turning a haunting crimson while glowing red lines scattered from his eyes and forehead. It looked even worse when those lines travelled up Cas' hand and arm, moving under his clothes and reappearing on his own face. The glowing red lines snaked their way into Cas' eyes, turning them a bright, sinister scarlet.

It looked excruciating for the both of them, Sam crying out in pain as the damage left him, and Cas quivering in agony as it travelled into him. When it was over and Cas had released Sam's forehead, the younger man bolted upright and gasped hard as if he had been drowning.

Cas took his hand back, eyes slowly returning from that blistering crimson, staring at his trembling fingers as he started to rock back and forth slightly. Dean's focus was on his brother, watching with bewilderment as he scrambled up the bed and took in his surroundings as if he were seeing them clearly for the first time.

"Sam?!" Sam's eyes turned directly to his brother as he sat up, lucid once again as the pain faded.

"Dean!"

"Sam!" Dean rushed over to the bedside, shocked and ecstatic that his brother had returned. But Sam's eyes had left his brother and turned to the other occupant of the room. It struck Dean that Castiel was still dead in Sam's memory after the Leviathans tore him apart.

"Cas?!" Sam stared at the angel, awe etched into his features. "Cas is that you?"

But Cas wasn't looking at them. Instead he was staring down at his shaking hand in what looked like a stunned shock, like something was violently wrong. But when his eyes slowly turned to Sam, his expression morphed into abject horror; it was an expression they had never imagined on their former friend.

Nobody said anything as Cas panicked, blue eyes wide and frightened, backing away until his back hit the wall - pressing himself against it as though he could escape through the paint and digging his nails into the plaster. Sam and Dean exchanged an alarmed look with one another.

"Sam, are you okay?" Dean questioned, eyes trained on Cas and voice quiet. The angel flinched at his words; staring at the two of them as if he stood before a firing squad. Sam looked up at his brother, shifting himself so he could sit up better.

"I'm fine, Dean. But what did he just do?" He implored, snagging Dean's sleeve and turning back to the angel.

"I... I don't know." He admitted, scared. "He said he could shift something. I'm guessin' he meant the damage you got from Lucifer." Dean's eyes couldn't leave the panting angel against the wall, staring back at them in horror with sharp breaths issuing from him.

"Cas, what did you do?" When Dean tried to get closer, rounding the bed quickly, it seemed to be the wrong thing to do as Cas dug gouges into the wall with his nails. He behaved like a trapped animal, similar to how Sam acted before. Exchanging a quick glance with his brother, Dean slowed his approach, holding out a placating hand towards his friend.

Castiel, however, seemed to fold into himself. His hands reached up and gripped his head in distress, looking around the room in a daze.

"N-no," he mumbled with a few startled breaths, turning dazed eyes back to Sam. "No, you're not- you're not here... you can't be here!" He began to yell, clenching his eyes closed and clawing at his head as he breathed heavily. That was enough for Dean to eliminate the space between them and grasp his hands, trying to stop the man from hurting himself.

"No!" He shoved back at Dean, backing himself further away from the elder Winchester, chest heaving as if hyperventilating. "Don't do it! You can't!"

Sam had also risen from the bed, limping his way over to the angel and watching over his brother's shoulder. Cas didn't seem to recognise them at all, eyes wide and scared and absolutely nothing like the strong and fearless Angel of the Lord they had always known him to be. They'd never seen anything like this before, and knew even less on how to deal with it.

"Cas, what are you seeing?" Sam tried, but it was like Castiel couldn't hear them, flinching as Dean gently placed a hand on his shoulder. It hurt them to see Cas like this.

"Get away." He breathed, his face slowly relaxing. "You can't..." Castiel's gaze listed upward at the roof and then to the side, looking at anything but the boys.

"Cas?" Sam asked, as a kind of stillness passed over the room. "Cas, are you still with us?"

The angel didn't respond but seemed to be calming down, the panic subsiding and being replaced by a cloudiness that left his blue eyes dull and unfocussed.

"Castiel?"

"Get away..." His voice was so weak as he spoke, fear gripping Dean as he watched the angel sag.

"Whoa hey, hey Cas! Don't leave us hangin' here..." Dean tried, grasping Cas' other shoulder and shaking him gently to try and snap him out of his torpor. Sam grabbed Dean's forearm to still his desperation.

"Dean, don't." He looked pitifully at Castiel.

"I... can't..." the angel haltingly murmured, before he stopped looking at anything altogether and simply stared into space, sliding down the wall until he was limply sitting on the floor.

"Cas? Talk to me, man. Cas?!" But the angel did not respond, continuing to stare forward as though in a trance. Dean crouched down in front of him and cupped his jaw to make eye contact, but there was no reaction. He snapped his fingers in front of his face with not even a twitch.

He was blank.

It was like he had just... shut down.

Dean's heart clenched as he released his best friend, standing and taking a few steps back to scrub a hand over his face, while Sam stayed by Castiel to keep him supported against the wall.

"Sammy, we gotta get outta here." He reluctantly ground out, as Sam gripped Cas' shoulder. "We're gonna have to leave him."

"What?! Dean, we can't abandon him here!"

"Does it look like we have a choice? In case you hadn't noticed, we still got Leviathans on our asses!" He hissed, glancing at the door as he heard footsteps travelling down the hall. "He can't move and we can't look after him!"

Dean turned to his brother, about to continue when a voice called from the door.

"I'll watch him for you." Leaning against the doorframe was the last person Dean wanted to see.

Arms crossed over her chest, Meg took in the scene before her. Poor formerly amnesiac Castiel slumped against the wall and staring blankly forward, with both Rocky and Bullwinkle surrounding him. It seemed the angel was toasted and the brothers were out of options.

Sam's brows shot to his hairline. "Meg?! What the hell are you doing here?"

Meg chuckled. "I was travelling with your big brother and his feathered boyfriend here. Thought I might just lend a hand."

"What do you want, Meg? I thought you look out for you and nobody else?" Sam gritted out, mouth thinned to a hard line. The demon glanced at Dean with a knowing look in her dark eyes. "We weren't exactly on friendly terms last time we met."

"Sam..." Dean's voice faded, shaking his head. Sam's eyes shot to his brother for a second before returning to glare at the woman.

"While I was hanging with these two earlier, Dean and I came to an agreement. I tag along to you, help you out of your pickle, and as a bonus I stay out of Crowley's radar, 'kay?" She reasoned, gaze flitting between the three men in the room. "So I'd rather hang with you two and Angel-boy... who seems to be stroking out at present."

"What's in it for you?" Sam's tired voice cut in before Dean could answer, to which Meg scoffed.

"Um... survival?" She shrugged, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets. "Look, people are going to start poking around for where that faith healer went. Especially other demons. Demons who will report Cas directly to Crowley. So if he gets found, he gets dead. I get dead." She shrugged, examining her meatsuit's nails.

"Besides Cas isn't going to be able to protect himself like this; all stroke-victim like. Nobody's going to look for him in a psych ward, but I'd rather not take chances. I can lay low and protect Cas at the same time."

Sam was suspicious, but was surprised when Dean said nothing. Meg glanced between the two, deciding to sweeten the deal.

"Alright, fine. I'll even get a job here so I can watch him more closely if that's what you want. Get out of your hair?" With the incredulous brow raises from the boys, she pulled away from the door. "It's not that hard. Resumes are easy to fake. And plus, I'm really not too eager to bump into Crowley any time soon, so you guys can go off and do whatever you want while I stay and keep an eye on Powderpuff here."

"And you'd do that out of the kindness of your heart?" Sam gritted out, annoyed that Dean wasn't saying anything. "Spare us." Meg groaned in frustration.

"I don't want to die, okay Sam?! And I know you don't want Castiel to die! You need to get out of here don't you? As much we both hate the situation, in light of recent events I'd prefer to work _with_ you than against you!"

"Okay, Meg." Dean sighed wearily, while Sam shot him an incredulous look. "You can watch him for us."

"Dean, you can't seriously-" Sam blurted before Dean cut him off, desperation etched onto his face.

"Sam, she's right. We can't take care of him with Leviathans out there! Not like this!" And by the look on Dean's face as he glanced back towards their angel friend, Sam couldn't argue. They did need to leave, but they couldn't bring Castiel with them.

"He's safer here." He said with a devastated sigh.

He turned to Meg, the demon's arms tightly folded over her chest and watching the scene with what seemed like a faintly sombre expression across her features. Dean strode up to her and stood in her personal space, voice lowering to a deadly level.

"Now you listen to me. You watch him. You make sure _nothing_ happens to him." He growled, and Sam looked to him in honest surprise. Dean was trusting a _demon_ to look after an _angel_? What had this world come to? "You understand me? If _anything_ happens to him-" She waved a hand flippantly and turned to walk out the door.

"Yeah, yeah I'm dead, I know. You scratch my back, I scratch yours."

"And you call us if anything changes. Give us updates."

"Will do, hot stuff."

Dean turned away from her and crouched back down, grasping Castiel's shoulders again and staring into his vacant eyes.

"You better come back to us, Cas." He searched for something - anything - that gave the indication that Cas was even aware of his presence, but got nothing. The angel hadn't moved, had barely even blinked in the entire span of their conversation.

With a sad sigh Dean rose again, this time headed for the door while talking to his brother.

"I'm gonna go get a doctor to get you discharged. And Cas admitted."

 **And that's that**. **I just thought there was a scene missing from the show in 7x17 "The Born-Again Identity" and wanted to fill the gap.**

 **Thanks for reading.**


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